Tips for parents
The most important thing for parents is not to lose contact with your own child. It’s hard to do when your child exhibits all the traits of being closed. Stop in communication with all others.
The insularity and its symptoms
The child finds shelter in its isolation and draws in her power. He tries to move away from painful for him outside world. He seems to be alienated and restrained in his invasions, interventions in all that is around him. To a certain extent, many children have these feelings. But more disturbing are those who already clearly demonstrates symptoms of isolation:
— the child may not talk, speak in an extreme case, to pronounce the words in a whisper;
— kept away from all or with great difficulty included in the team;
— he has very few friends, or none at all;
— he is afraid to start something new;
— does not dare to Express their opinion;
— hides inside your feelings, thoughts, events, not a conversation with an adult;
— often shy away in conversation, hiding behind the phrase “I don’t know”, and sometimes and really thinks he has nothing to say;
— too careful in words and deeds;
— no spontaneous manifestations (but would be very willing spontaneity of this);
— shallow breathing;
— psychosomatic symptoms (stomach pain, for example);
— the desire to have an unusual domestic animals (spider, lizard, snake);
— often holds his hands behind his back, in his pockets, held tightly to himself, languidly hanging along the body (no live gesture).
With all this vicious child is quite normal to have time in school to perform their duties, not to throw tantrums and quarrels behaves correctly.
Such a child is not too wants to leave his secluded world. He unconsciously uses the shelter in acute moments for yourself. Others may see this as shyness, depression, meekness, timidity, boredom, bad manners. Often, the isolation characteristic of foster children.
At an early age, the child sees no problem in its isolation. On the contrary, it feels like salvation. Teenagers can find a way out of it, realizing that they are prohibitive to many. While not defending actually from problems, interferes with normal life with emotions and events.
The only one not confuse introverted child is an introvert. In this you can determine by testing or by contacting a psychologist. For the introvert it is normal to be interested in their inner world more ambient.
In closure of boys and girls there is a decisive difference. It affects the efficiency to overcome the problem. On avoidant boys used to draw attention than her girls. Because of the stereotypes of society. It is believed that boys should be more active, including socially. It makes us sensitive to the existence of the alienation of the boy. In girls same isolation often confused with a proper girl’s behavior, manners, charming shyness. And it affects too late solution.
The reasons for the closure of the child
The first thing you should start the path to the openness of a child with reasons for his withdrawal. The most common is called:
— fear not to cope with the complex situation;Avoidant child — the signal problems.
— the fear of communicating with peers (fear of being hurt, ridiculed or ignored);
— difficulty interacting with the opposite sex;
— a negative effect once expressed the sincerity of the child (in conversation, and actions);
— failing to comply with demands of adults to participate in something;
— the inability to exercise choice, to decide on action;
— a smoldering resentment accumulated, grief;
— increased anxiety (about yourself, about someone from parents);
— too large responsibilities for the child;
— sexual violence or his attempts over the child;
— a serious illness or frequent pain (physical or mental);
— the cultivation of alienated parents, too obedient, “correct” behavior;
— feeling unnecessary, superfluous in the family.
The consequences of isolation
If nothing is done, the vicious child will be in danger:
— will not decide on a choice to see this to the end, turning from the path;
— will be exposed to the ridicule of others, peers;
— he will dream nightmares (issues, fears remain be expressed only through them);
— learn how to engage in a conversation, to maintain contact (threatening problems with communication in adult life);
— will not be able to Express freely their feelings and desires;
— always be in control of yourself, your communication and actions;
— will be afraid to develop freely, to learn, to improve myself in different spheres of life;
— will not be able to meet many of their social, psychological, personal, sexual needs;
— will keep self-doubt at many odes;
— will not solve the complex problem situation;
— will alone;
— a possible mental disorder (they reduce the lifespan).
The longer this condition persists, the more the child is immersed in it. This complicates his release from closed-loop behavior.
Recommendations for parents of introverted child
The most important thing should not be allowed in relation to a withdrawn child is the use of force (moral and especially physical). Further, psychologists recommend the following approaches:
— to perceive the child as he is;
— not to speak of himself in communion with him;
— to talk about what worried about him (all its complexities);
— in a conversation with the child to exhibit avoidant as a problem;
— to teach him to be aware of their fears, resentment;
— identify and develop fears through play, drawing (you can offer to draw a boy or a girl – my gender respectively; first, these drawings will be correct too, without emotion; the child needs to offer to talk about the hero of the picture (of the game), but do not expect results immediately);
— at an early age is to teach your child to learn, to communicate, to solve problems;
— to reinforce, praise the determination of the child;
— to try to know the reasons of the problem and help to resolve them, suggest a strategy (to decide only when the threat to life and health of the child);
— to help cope with the complexes and fears.
If independent work on the problem fails, then the child will be able to help the psychologist. Psychologists in working with such children often use expressive techniques. Applied drawing, modeling, practice with sentences beginning with “I…”. Sometimes it helps to dream analysis. The approach of “here and now” is also very effective. The first steps towards openness – the realization of their fears, frustrations and resentments. The following is a correction of behavior. Child allow you to find the keys to learn how to solve a problem situation in a different way to cope with the grievances and fears.