The Children grew up.
Today I want to talk about what to do parents of adult children . if the relationship with the children does not add up. If children do not listen to parents, respect them, and some of the horror, not love. Anyway so I think parents of adult children.
But I’ll start our conversation with the causes that lead to such severe consequences. It is necessary to eliminate these very reasons and finally to establish normal relations with grown children. Otherwise it’s still nothing happens.
Talking with parents of adult children, I am often faced with a very tough position, rejection of any changes. I hear the same words, they (children) must obey . they must respect, they have to, because I am a mother and I know better. Or, even cooler, I’m her/his love, then he/she will need…. And this should apply to all areas of life.
To deal with the situation. to begin, try to remember how your parents raised you and how you raised your children. Usually, the whole process of education Voditsa to criticism and prevention of possible failures. The key to this was to point out flaws and be forced to correct mistakes.
At the same time obtaining a good, correct results were welcomed, but considered the norm. So praise for them was not accepted. But it was customary to constantly criticize and berate. And constantly monitor. After all, that’s how to do good parents that their children were happy.
Then gave your parents the love and respect for all that have given and done for them by their parents .No one thought about how to tune for good luck and success, of achievement, if all education was to natselivanii for avoiding failure.
Nobody thought that criticizing, was raised by the critics themselves. Impossible constantly criticizing receive gratitude, love, respect and appreciation. And how actually children are able to learn all this, if examples of these in the family were not monitored. But children learn from their parents. Copy and repeat them without thinking, and so, out of habit, exactly educated parents.
The same style of communication and parents continue with the already absolutely adult children. Who certainly did not need any supervision by parents or in their boards. They need the most love . vzaimoponimaniye and support. But such relationships are only possible between friends.
And how is this possible if we don’t know how? We are never taught to be friends with their children . Not taught respect, gratitude. Not taught to recognize their achievements.
Because oddly enough, respect, gratitude, recognition of achievements, and I also love to teach. But first need to learn ourselves. And Even if it seems that late, so we all know that they are children, we must learn to love and respect. And we parents don’t owe anybody anything, because we’re parents.
So, there is no escape. Want to establish normal relations with their adult children, learn. Learn another behavior, other relationships. Disconnect your educators itching, stop to criticize and point. Learn respect for their grown children.
Learn to recognize their right to live as they want . even from your point of view is wrong and they make mistakes. Learn to be grateful to them for what they communicate with you, listen, and often tolerate your notation and criticism.
Learn to let go of adult children, and live your life. Let them make their decisions. Tips come on only when you want them. Don’t ask questions that your children do not want to answer. Remember that they are ADULTS, and communicate with them as adults, smart, independent and responsible people.
Because if you do not consider them in their adulthood smart, independent and responsible, then what you parents . Well, certainly not these are worth respect. Think about it. And begin to learn the relationship from the position of adult – adult, not parent – child.
You parents, and you must first change the relationship with your parent. And then your adult children will be forced to change their behavior. But to start you should. You first came into this life. Lead in children’s lives, too, was your decision. That is why it is your responsibility to change the relationship until they are finally destroyed.
I know that the old thinking is very difficult to give. Need help here. And you know from whom you can obtain it? From your adult children. But in order to obtain it, you need to ask. But parents do not know how to ask. Their business require. They’re your parents.
That’s it from this start. Learn to ask their children. Then start to praise myself, to love yourself, to treat yourself positively. To themselves and to their children. Start to enjoy their and their success, to forgive their own and their errors. Start to think positively. And then your children will be forced to follow your example.
I guess, ideally, it was necessary to do all this before. Of course, it was necessary. But, already failed. And what to think about it. It is never too late to change everything and be happy. One has only to understand and to want to live better with their children.
Start now. Start with what you rejoice in the fact that you can change everything, it’s not too late. Rejoice in the fact that everything is in your hands.
I wish You love and wealth .