Why toddlers are greedy and that we as parents can do to ensure that the child grew up in an open and kind person.
What we call greed, from time to time manifests itself in almost every small child: not shared yummy candy with my brother, not given to other children in the yard to play with his new machine. But in children this quality is not constant, it is not peculiar to the nature of the child and is not born with him. Most often greed manifests itself in a certain situation occurs and for any reason. And sometimes we adults just confuse greed with other manifestations of the child’s life.
Kids love all the beautiful, bright, unusual and involuntarily drawn to him. The little tot the owner of the gorgeous new toys – I do not want to part with it for a minute, and this is understandable. He holds her to his and jealously guards from other children. Well, if the hidden object does not belong to him, what he was trying to seduce him. When you can’t bitterly crying, screaming or throwing a tantrum But all this is far from true greed, it’s just the baby it is hard at this age to voluntarily give someone something that is so like him. After three years, when a child learns to build relationships with their peers, sometimes he starts to make concessions, knowing that if not be anything to share with others, it is simply rejected. The baby is still reluctant to part with their favorite toys, but usually not experiencing any joy: because in the view of the child greed is already beginning to be associated with something bad, negative. No child wants to be seen as greedy. But why, then, from time to time many children persistently standing his ground: I will not give?
Not hiding true feelings
Very often greedy child with exactly those who were suspicious, unfriendly or even hostile. And it can be not only peers who teased and bullied, or unfamiliar aunt and uncle, but even the closest people. It seems to be all ready to share a little chocolate, but once the turn comes to the grandmothers, turns and runs away. And the thing is, it turns out that they start failed contact: too domineering grandmother too often scolded and chastised grandson, demanded him unquestioning obedience, and the “rebellious child” had defied. So was born the grandson in the shower rejection. Sometimes, greed provoke whim or in a bad mood: while you are in their power, a little child will is to do good deeds.
My toy is a part of me
But sometimes the reluctance of the child to part with an attractive subject has much deeper roots. Aged two to four years in children usually occurs the formation of the self, and is often a favorite toy completely blends in a child-conception, becomes part of it. For adults it is very important to understand this, and then in the activity you will see not greed, a natural desire to defend themselves and save their property boundaries. Sensitive and not very sociable children and at an older age are not always able to perceive favorite things or toys separate from me. Little Aline was two years old when her parents sent her to kindergarten, to which, unfortunately, she was used to long and painful. Now her fifth year, but every day, crossing the threshold of the house, she first runs to his bedside table and stares, all her “jewels” on the spot, nobody touched favorite toys and books, nothing is missing? And just making sure that everything is in order, the girl quietly going about their business further. Parents were able to adequately assess the behavior of his daughter and never accused her of greed, because he realized that Alina, apparently, needs this kind of psychological protection.
How great is it to please others!
If the manifestation of greed is unstable, occurs in certain situations, parents can help the child to say goodbye to this quality forever.
To begin, help your child to understand the experiences of his peers, whom he does not wish to share their “treasure”. The first lesson you can teach even today. Let’s say your kid walked out in the yard with a beautiful self-propelled machine, and you notice that the boy next door literally staring at her.
Try to shift the attention of the son with the toys at his friend, “you know, Andrew, too, would be like you, so glad to ride your wonderful machine. Let’s give him just a little, and let him also rejoice, as you do.” Your boy will surely notice how lights Andryushina eyes. And, maybe for the first time will experience the incomparable pleasure because he brought joy to another person. It will certainly become for him a real discovery, he began to learn more about a whole new world – the other person’s feelings.
Do not cease to show your son or daughter that you are very happy, when he comes to you to draw your markers, to bite off a piece of Apple, palaukti favorite doll. The more you encourage your child to share with others and praise him for his generosity, the more willing he will be to please his attention to you, other relatives and friends.
And together with the child arrange one day to his friends a day of surprises. It does not require special expenses: tea, cakes, chocolates and some lovely presents (they can be small toys from kinder surprise, crafts your toddler from clay, crayons, or even regular cards). It is important that small “organizer celebration” think things over gifts and chose for each of the guests a surprise that he’s most happy.
To tell the child about the need to be generous – this is not enough. After all, for kids to know the standards – it still does not mean to act in accordance with them. And here, of course, the most important educational role played by the adults example: if the mother divides the cake into two parts, in order to treat the neighbor lady and my dad is interested at all home, if not mind them, if he eats the last cupcake, the excess of words the child doesn’t need to grow stingy and attentive to the needs of the other person.
Avoid hanging labels
In the desire to protect your baby from the virus of greed is most important not to overreact. You see with displeasure, as he literally clung to gift him on birthday constructor and not even let me get to him brother. If your arguments don’t help, leave him alone: no need now to rush to sort things out and even more pointedly to select a new toy. Educational purposes in this case, you are unlikely to reach, most likely it will end up a storm of hysteria, or worse, deep smoldering resentment. But in the evening when you are together will summarize the previous day, talk to the baby heart to heart and let him know that you’re very sorry about this unpleasant episode: “I understand that you like your new designer, but, you know, today I was so ashamed of you, you were like the evil Karabas Barabas. But you, of course, is not the same boy, and tomorrow everything will be different, right?” Or unobtrusively tell your child a story (e.g., as if from your own childhood) about how in your fun and friendly company appeared the boy who was greedy once absolutely all the guys turned away from him and ceased to be friends with him and how he felt when left entirely alone.
In this story the kid, of course, implicated, although it will not be a single word. Do not just hang on the child label “greedy”, no matter how you dislike his actions. This can cause reactions stubbornness: so let it be. He doesn’t notice how next time will do out of spite. The more you call him greedy, the more he will tend to think that he is bad and nobody likes him. There’s an inferiority complex that is difficult to love others and to do someone good.